The End of 2012 and The Beginning of 2013

Its been a rough couple of months. I’ve made some difficult decisions, supported friends as they go through difficult times, and they’ve supported me. I’m learning that life isn’t about perfection, but the time you spend with people.

I spent so much time with one particular person, and yes, you know who you are, that to have that person gone has broken something inside me. I’ve crumbled, I’ve cried, I’ve said things and thought about doing things that quite frankly are below me and unbecoming. So I’m taking a stand for myself.

I’m seeking help to get through it and move past it. I’m slowly putting myself back together. I miss you, and it hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before, but I have to keep going. I did what I did because, in all honesty, I couldn’t take anymore of the mind games, the selfishness, the control issues.

I’ve been asked if I’m happier since I walked away. The honest answer? I can’t be sure. Free, certainly. I’ve gained quite a bit of myself back in this short time. I’ve realized that everything I’ve done in my short 21 years does in fact mean something. I’m terrified that I’ll end up alone, but I think I’d rather end up alone and still free than with someone who has to control every aspect of my life.

So this is me, taking my life back and putting myself together again. In 2012, I did an internship. I graduated from college. I got a job in my field close to home in a failing economy. All of that, before my 21st birthday.

So in 2013, its time to find myself again. Its my time to shine and fly. I’m finally going to start some projects I’ve only dreamt of since childhood. I’ll travel more, I’ll meet new people while getting closer to the people I have, and I’m done with gilded cages. The first few days of the new year have been an emotional roller coaster, but I can see things turning around, getting better, and I plan on going straight to the top.

The best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can’t, because I’m too stubborn to let you be right. I have to prove you wrong. That piece of me was never lost. And that piece is the key to pulling the rest of me back together.

Final Semester? Graduation? So soon!?

Sorry it’s been a while, but I’ve been very busy. So here are some updates:

This is my last week interning with Clear Channel Asheville. I learned a lot, made great connections, and even managed to leave with an audition reel. I’ve also freshened up my skills in XHTML and CSS coding within Adobe Dreamweaver.

My photography skills have increased dramatically this semester, photos to appear soon! My lighting techniques still need work, but I am ten times better than I was in January.

My acting final seems to be going well, despite a battle with two GI viruses back to back. Present preliminary to professor tomorrow, he sees it again the day of finals. Which are next week! I can’t believe this semester has literally flown by!

Monday, I take the GRE, which I only started studying for yesterday! Many thanks to Olivia Bellamy for giving me her prep book!

My other two classes are going well, and Wind Song will finish strong with a final episode of season one on Sunday, May 6. Hopefully this fall, it will return for season two with Stefani at it’s head and a new co-host by her side.

The Western Tribes

Wind Song Talk Show is in the middle of our Regional Mini-Series. This week, Stefani and I explore the Nations in the Western U.S. Last week, we took a break from our mini-series to discuss the issue of native students reprimanded for speaking their own language, specifically Menominee seventh-grader Miranda Washinawotok.The Menominee Nation the student is a member of is located in Oregon, so it wasn’t completely irrelevant.

This week will focus on the Central West, in which we mention and discuss several nations we come across on the web. This research is often difficult due the fact that not every Nation has joined the World Wide Web yet. The focus of the mini-series is to open the eyes of the public to the sheer number of Native Peoples still thriving today.

Neutral Scenes

My acting I class is starting on neutral scene study. I’m partnered with a guy who’s schedule is almost as complex as mine. For those theater newbies out there, a neutral scene is barebone dialogue without given circumstances of any kind. No setting, no reference, no character bio. All circumstances are created by the actor(s).

We’ve decided to make our scene between two people formerly romantically involved, and currently strained. His character is a college athlete, the relationship ended in high school, and my character show’s up on his turf. The assignment for class is to rehearse, we have to show the prof/class the scene on Tuesday, and work on it for the next week and a half. Then we show it again for a grade.

Wish us luck!

The Intern? I’m so much more than that!

As some of you may be aware, I’m interning at Clearchannel Asheville for my degree. I’m happy to help out. I know that the seemingly menial tasks given me take a load off the actual employees. I get it, I really do. But I’ve been there about a month, and other than my direct supervisor Aaron D’Innocenzi, almost no one is remembering my name. Or so it feels.

I am getting a full immersion work experience and learning “soft skills” necessary in a work environment. A lot of the people there curse worse than sailors, and I think it’s because radio personalities have to watch every word out of their mouths when that mic is on, so they don’t when they’re off air. I’m slowly getting used to this, but I personally do not curse often, or even on occasion, and it still tends to offend me. As of yet, I’ve only been hearing it in group conversations where I just happen to be doing my own work, minding my own business, thus I feel like I have no right to ask them to tone it down. If ever there comes a time when cursing is directed at me in a conversation, I feel like I then have the right to it. Friday, the company did a remote at Carolina Furniture Concepts to help the business gain, well, business. The topic of cursing briefly came up with Eddie Foxx, Aaron D’Innocenzi, and others in which I made my case for an opinion of distaste toward most topics/terms unsavory. My career counselor at my university said that I’m learning valuable skills that could not be taught in navigating the personalities and politics of a work environment. How do you think I’m handling it?

Photoshoot 4

I am taking a digital photography class. Up till now, I’ve always done black and white film photography with a Minolta XG-1. So this was my fourth digital photo shoot. This semester, I decided to focus on portrait/studio photography. These are the most recent. I am using a Canon T3i in my university’s studio. I finally have the hang of the softboxes and backdrops, and I know what I’m doing with the camera (mostly). I’m looking for something specific, but I don’t know how to get at it just yet.

 

YAY!What's Up?Ahhh!This is my happy face!Don't BlinkYeahRaecoon is here to help!Raecoon has a huge oneI hate cold weather!Rae's Superhero alter ego Raecoon!

So Monday, February 13th a friend of mine let me take studio portraits of her for my digital photography class. We basically talked about Dr. Who and other sci-fi pop culture references. As we spoke, she moved in a relatively still space, and I took my shots. A lot of technical difficulties on my part, but here are a few that turned out well. Rae is a good friend to me. She is a source of information and creativity for me. You can learn more about her in a feature story I wrote for the Western Carolinian.

My professor liked some more than others. Can you guess which were successful, or not, and why?

 

 

Caretaking

Wind Song’s Last Topic

Stefani and I talked about the importance of caretaking in almost every aspect of our modern lives. Native traditions across the country find it important to care for the environment, the animals, yourself, your village, and your family. So we challenged you, the listener, to do something to better someone’s life in some way.

What I’ve Done

I started my internship with clearchannel radio this week. I’m not sure what I expected, but organizing freebies from previous remotes was not it. Neither, really, was adding concerts to the site calendars. But I did it, and it actually did make a difference to the actually employed. Staying organized and reaching the audience was important.

Why does it Matter?

If we expect people to help us, we have to help others. Volunteering, interning, talking, listening. Being there. It makes a massive difference to the lives we interact with. So I once again charge you to do what you can to better a life.