The End of 2012 and The Beginning of 2013

Its been a rough couple of months. I’ve made some difficult decisions, supported friends as they go through difficult times, and they’ve supported me. I’m learning that life isn’t about perfection, but the time you spend with people.

I spent so much time with one particular person, and yes, you know who you are, that to have that person gone has broken something inside me. I’ve crumbled, I’ve cried, I’ve said things and thought about doing things that quite frankly are below me and unbecoming. So I’m taking a stand for myself.

I’m seeking help to get through it and move past it. I’m slowly putting myself back together. I miss you, and it hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before, but I have to keep going. I did what I did because, in all honesty, I couldn’t take anymore of the mind games, the selfishness, the control issues.

I’ve been asked if I’m happier since I walked away. The honest answer? I can’t be sure. Free, certainly. I’ve gained quite a bit of myself back in this short time. I’ve realized that everything I’ve done in my short 21 years does in fact mean something. I’m terrified that I’ll end up alone, but I think I’d rather end up alone and still free than with someone who has to control every aspect of my life.

So this is me, taking my life back and putting myself together again. In 2012, I did an internship. I graduated from college. I got a job in my field close to home in a failing economy. All of that, before my 21st birthday.

So in 2013, its time to find myself again. Its my time to shine and fly. I’m finally going to start some projects I’ve only dreamt of since childhood. I’ll travel more, I’ll meet new people while getting closer to the people I have, and I’m done with gilded cages. The first few days of the new year have been an emotional roller coaster, but I can see things turning around, getting better, and I plan on going straight to the top.

The best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can’t, because I’m too stubborn to let you be right. I have to prove you wrong. That piece of me was never lost. And that piece is the key to pulling the rest of me back together.

Finals Update

The end of finals week is very near. I feel great about my grades thus far, and am mentally preparing to walk across that stage Saturday morning. The same class that had me start this blog had me write a research paper as a final exam on any area of social media. I decided to write about Native Americans and Social Media. Here are my findings: Native Americans and Social Media. I hope you learn something.

Acting: A Beginning Journey

I am currently working on my Neutral Scene assignment for my Acting I class. My partner and I have created our own set of given circumstances. One of my more brilliant ideas to help get us started was for us to write a character bio. Instead of A and B I thought we needed names. Of course we had to decide on setting and relationship etc, but for a creative mind like me, the details are crucial. So, below is my character bio. I am no longer portraying bland B, but the cruel, popular, and selfish Daphne Castle. Pretty cool, huh?

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Daphne Castle

By: Kaitlin Blaylock

Age: 22                                                                                                Sign: Cancer

Her entire current objective: get A to talk to her=> take her back=> restore her ego=>affirm the world revolves around her.

Became the “it” girl in Middle School after puberty. Dated every star jock. Only dumped once by “A” in the middle of senior year. Obsessed with fashion and appearances at every level.

Daphne was raised to be a “trophy,” a model, only meant to be seen. She is an only child. She vacationed in Europe with her father to visit his family and contemporaries.

Clothing is strictly designer label. Had her first coffee at age 15 in Milan. Blackmailed her principal in high school to graduate. Never taken anything seriously aside from her.

After high school, takes a part time job with her mother’s firm filing paperwork. Job was taken only to get to know the celeb clientele. Never considered college, no desire to work or educate her. Expectation of self-entitlement is all encompassing.

Daphne felt pressure to keep A until she was tired of him. She felt him growing distant, and reacted by clinging. Did not understand why he insisted on spending time outside of her and sports with his family, friends, and doing homework. The actual breakup was private, and she passed it off to her clique as her own boredom.

She doesn’t have actual friends, only superficial entourage. No confidante’s, no sincerity in her life. They shop, gossip, and wreak havoc. She knows their secrets but no one knows her secrets. Her desire for attention leaves no room for ideals such as monogamy, family, or empathy.

She is a chameleon, an actress, with miniscule ability for empathy. She was never taught how to actually care about other people outside of what they can do for her.

Mother is a lawyer on the cutting edge of fashion and precedent with zero time for her daughter. American, modeled in high school, exclusive celebrity clientele, high rate of success in court.

Father is a neuroscientist on the brink of curing multiple sclerosis. British, MENSA, several awards and accreditations for his medical discoveries, arrogant, direct, cold.

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I feel like I could take the neutral script and this character and write a novel on Daphne! I may do just that if time allows. Would you be interested in reading that story?

 

Neutral Scenes

My acting I class is starting on neutral scene study. I’m partnered with a guy who’s schedule is almost as complex as mine. For those theater newbies out there, a neutral scene is barebone dialogue without given circumstances of any kind. No setting, no reference, no character bio. All circumstances are created by the actor(s).

We’ve decided to make our scene between two people formerly romantically involved, and currently strained. His character is a college athlete, the relationship ended in high school, and my character show’s up on his turf. The assignment for class is to rehearse, we have to show the prof/class the scene on Tuesday, and work on it for the next week and a half. Then we show it again for a grade.

Wish us luck!