The End of 2012 and The Beginning of 2013

Its been a rough couple of months. I’ve made some difficult decisions, supported friends as they go through difficult times, and they’ve supported me. I’m learning that life isn’t about perfection, but the time you spend with people.

I spent so much time with one particular person, and yes, you know who you are, that to have that person gone has broken something inside me. I’ve crumbled, I’ve cried, I’ve said things and thought about doing things that quite frankly are below me and unbecoming. So I’m taking a stand for myself.

I’m seeking help to get through it and move past it. I’m slowly putting myself back together. I miss you, and it hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before, but I have to keep going. I did what I did because, in all honesty, I couldn’t take anymore of the mind games, the selfishness, the control issues.

I’ve been asked if I’m happier since I walked away. The honest answer? I can’t be sure. Free, certainly. I’ve gained quite a bit of myself back in this short time. I’ve realized that everything I’ve done in my short 21 years does in fact mean something. I’m terrified that I’ll end up alone, but I think I’d rather end up alone and still free than with someone who has to control every aspect of my life.

So this is me, taking my life back and putting myself together again. In 2012, I did an internship. I graduated from college. I got a job in my field close to home in a failing economy. All of that, before my 21st birthday.

So in 2013, its time to find myself again. Its my time to shine and fly. I’m finally going to start some projects I’ve only dreamt of since childhood. I’ll travel more, I’ll meet new people while getting closer to the people I have, and I’m done with gilded cages. The first few days of the new year have been an emotional roller coaster, but I can see things turning around, getting better, and I plan on going straight to the top.

The best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can’t, because I’m too stubborn to let you be right. I have to prove you wrong. That piece of me was never lost. And that piece is the key to pulling the rest of me back together.

Best Interview Ever!

I know it’s been a while, but I promise to try and stay regular! I had my first job interview this week at WRGC radio station in Sylva, NC. I’m excited, because it really looks like they need my skills and all the help they can get. It’ll be good to get back on the air.

I guess its strange to some people, but being on the radio in the studio, just you and the mic and the music is a very freeing experience. You can’t help but be who you are, and the listeners eat it up! The best radio personalities are true to themselves, and that is the beauty of radio.

At one point, I’d forgotten why I went into radio in the first place. That interview, not even getting in the studio myself, just seeing it, reminded me of the freedom of the air waves. I’m beginning to think that maybe I was born for radio. I’ve been listening my whole life, and creating part of it for about half my life. Feels so strange to say that.

At the same time, I’m working my applications to graduate school. I plan on pursuing a degree of MA in Creative Writing. I’m currently in the middle of a massive edit/expansion to a piece I originally wrote four years ago: The Black Castle. My dream school for this is UNC-Charlotte so wish me luck!

I leave you with this, the latest piece from my photography: Image

This piece is exclusively mine, taken the morning of July 19, 2012 at Clingman’s Dome in Tennessee.

Neutral Scenes

My acting I class is starting on neutral scene study. I’m partnered with a guy who’s schedule is almost as complex as mine. For those theater newbies out there, a neutral scene is barebone dialogue without given circumstances of any kind. No setting, no reference, no character bio. All circumstances are created by the actor(s).

We’ve decided to make our scene between two people formerly romantically involved, and currently strained. His character is a college athlete, the relationship ended in high school, and my character show’s up on his turf. The assignment for class is to rehearse, we have to show the prof/class the scene on Tuesday, and work on it for the next week and a half. Then we show it again for a grade.

Wish us luck!